Honoring a legacy of love and care

“If there is a heaven,” Caleb Webster (’04) wrote to his son, Evander, on the anniversary of the youngster’s great-grandfather’s passing, musing about fish tales and family memories, “then it is chock-full of liars.”

Just 7 years old, Evander’s dad has been writing to him since February 2021, only eight months after cancer took Evander’s mom from them both. Sometimes Caleb would write to grieve, sometimes to laugh, but always to remember. The reflections and letters he penned and posted on widowedfather.com tell beautiful stories of love and lives well-lived, with a healthy dose of Zag spirit sprinkled on top. Caleb is helping to extend his late wife’s legacy in another way, too — through the gift he made in her memory at Gonzaga.

Caleb came to Gonzaga University in 2000 from Billings, Montana, where he grew up with his three siblings — an older sister, younger sister and brother. Valedictorian of his high school, Caleb broke from the family tradition of attending the University of Montana and set out to blaze his own trail toward the future.  He fondly recalled the interview with Gonzaga’s Honors program and the visit to campus that helped cement his decision to be a Zag.

“My dad sat on the bench outside of Hopkins House waiting for me,” Caleb said. “That space always reminded me of him — he passed away while I was in college.”

Caleb majored in religious studies and minored in classics at Gonzaga, and then went to Claremont School of Theology, where he earned his master’s degree in Religion. It was during his first-year orientation there that he met Jaime (pictured below).

“We were shopping for books at the same time,” he explained, “and one of us suggested we share books for the semester — she always said it was her suggestion and I’d say it was mine, but either way, we became good friends.”

Jaime was a graduate of the University of San Diego, so she and Caleb built a friendly West Coast Conference rivalry between them.  They attended basketball games together, and before one of them, Caleb proposed at the beach.  They held hands in their USD and GU sweatshirts, while fans from both schools took notice of their obvious love for one another.

Caleb and Jaime both shifted paths — she’d originally set out to be a Methodist minister, but instead went to work for a Catholic foundation providing meals for those in need, while Caleb switched gears and went to law school.

“My father was an attorney,” Caleb explained, “and he hated it. I never thought I would go into it, but my sister had gone through law school and started her career, and she was enjoying it. I found that my training in religion and the classics equipped me in certain ways for my law school experience.”

After graduation, Caleb began working at the Contra Costa County, Calif., District Attorney’s office. Jaime continued her work with the foundation, and the two welcomed Evander to the family in 2014.

And then came the cancer.

It was 2017 and the Zags had just lost the national championship game. Jaime had an appointment the following day.

“They told her it was cancer,” Caleb recalled. “She went through treatments and had a mastectomy, and we thought they got everything. She had such an amazing attitude through it all. We had a couple years there where we thought everything was in remission and good. But in 2020, it came back. Once she got the diagnosis, it was really quick.”

A small cough led to weeks in the hospital, and then Jaime made the heartbreaking decision to go home and into hospice care so that she could be with her loved ones.  Jaime passed away on June 16, 2020.

Caleb and Evander had a new reality to adjust to. Caleb began writing to his son, sharing all the emotion and wisdom he could as they navigated this new life together. As Caleb captured his memories of Jaime in this way, he also began thinking about how he could honor her legacy of love and care for others.

“One of our favorite things was to cozy up on a Friday or Saturday night, order a pizza, and watch a Zags game together,” Caleb said. “Gonzaga was a place where I grew and developed, but also a place that she cared so much about. I think she would be honored knowing that this gift in her name will help Gonzaga to continue being a place that feels like home to young people—providing a close community where future Zags can always feel supported.”

Their son might become one of those Zags someday — Evander’s latest obsession is with Gonzaga basketball. The father-son pair even got to see Jalen Suggs at a Golden State Warriors game recently, and although Suggs wasn’t playing that night, Evander made his dad promise they’d be back to see him the next time he plays in the Bay Area.

“Evander says he’d like to be a Gonzaga basketball player someday,” Caleb laughed, “as long as I can move close by and not be too far away.”

Caleb added with a smile, “He promised to get me tickets to the games, too.”